So Disappointing…

No point going into details on this one – it was awful.  All that training and when it came to the big day it just wasn’t going to happen.  I have no idea why but I battled nausea and lightheadedness from 8k on.  When I tried to refuel it just made things worse.  Normally this is how I react when over heated but the temperatures actually remained a little cooler than called for, or at least I didn’t feel overly hot most of the time.  I have no reason, no explanation.  I just know that by the time I hit the half way mark the race had just become about finishing.  I’m happy I finished, it would have been easy to quit.  I knew I did not want to send that message to my children who met me at several spots to cheer me on.  But I am sad of course too.  Not so much about adding more than 20 minutes to my first marathon time.  More so because I missed the rush, that amazing feeling of racing and crossing a well-earned finish line.  I was envious of the people around me who were just so pleased to finish the course.

Here’s the irony… when I trained for my first marathon I honestly felt that my running became worse.  I was slower and seemed more prone to injury.  This time around I feel I became a much stronger runner, yet the race itself was much worse.

As always, it is good to look at the bigger picture to try to feel better.  In my training I ran my fastest km, fastest mile, fastest 10k, fastest 10 miler and fastest 30k.  For the first time I hit 200 km or more of training in a month.  In fact I hit that 3 months in a row.  I put in 100 more km of training than I did last time.  I guess I will work on focusing on these achievements.

There were two highlights of the weekend.  Evan ran an amazing personal best, finishing the 5k in 25:22, putting him in the top 1000 of a race with more than 8500 participants.  Luke ran his very first 5k and finished in an incredible 32:02 I am sooooo proud of them both!!!

13 thoughts on “So Disappointing…

  1. Rebecca

    Oh no 🙁 – everyone I know that ran today struggled really bad. I had a PB race but felt horrible for most of my run. I saw so many people down on the ground. I cannot even imagine doing a marathon today. Good for you for finishing! It wasn’t an easy day!!

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  2. Michael

    Okay – it did not go as planned. Many times we have told the boys that not every run would go well and the key was to work through it. How about “it’s not the destination (race) but the journey (training) that is important. How about “sometimes the ones who deserve the most credit are the ones that have troubles but push through!” Or – “okay not the time you expected but you finished a marathon!” All great things to say and teach the kids …. but, and don’t let them read this, it sucks (yes I used the other “s” word). I know it, most people know it, all athletes know it. You train and train for a specific goal and the one day when you can truly validate all the work, something goes wrong and you may never figure out what happened. I’m proud of you, the boys are proud of you and your determination to finish confirms a lesson to them. You trained hard and put an amazing amount of effort into all of it (not to mention you got up at 3:45 AM for a race – something I still cannot fathom for you). If not for your example, we would not have an 11 year old running a 5k by himself and finishing in the top 12% nor a 9 year old telling me as we ran “this is fun – no I don’t want to slow down”. – I’ll add that he finished in the top 42% of all runners and 37/151 in his category.

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  3. Erin

    Good for you for finishing!!!!!! That’s the important thing. We can’t win every race.

    I had a tough day out there too. My knee crapped out (which is so weird because it’s never done that before) and I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly – I blame the bronchitis I had in December that came back in April.

    But when I was struggling and wanted to punch every spectator who told me I was looking good or I could do it, one man looked at me in the eyes and said “you will finish this. It will hurt. But you WILL cross that finish line.” That man is my favourite and he was so right.

    Congrats on your race. Be proud of your battle.

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    1. kristi Post author

      Thanks Erin. I laughed when you said you wanted to hit the spectators!!! Normally the spectators are my favourite part of a race but today I just wanted them all to leave. It was the “looking good” comments that were the worst.
      Weird about the breathing. I had 4 times when I was walking – not running – that I felt like I was having some asthmatic attack or hyperventilation. No idea what was setting it off.
      We both got the job done today, that is something.

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  4. runrodrun

    I am so sorry to hear about how much you struggled but am proud of you that you fought so hard AND FINISHED ANOTHER MARATHON! Rest assured you are sending a wonderful message to your kids. Just look at how much they love to run. Look how much they value fitness. And look at who they are, their values, their personalities — on a regular basis I still read their inspirational messages they inscribed on those rocks during your Mother’s Day hike. You continue to be such a wonderful inspiration and role model for them.

    At the risk of being punched the next time we see each other, you are “looking good”!

    Reply
    1. kristi Post author

      Thank you so much Rod! I too go back and read those messages, it still amazes me they came from my little boys. Both boys were so supportive of me after the race yesterday. According to them I am still the best runner ever 🙂 They also keep reminding me to be proud of myself for not quitting.
      And I promise not to punch you the next time I see you 🙂

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  5. Meaghan

    I struggled too, in the half marathon. Everyone I’ve spoken too struggled, so you are definitely not alone! That being said, I agree that it’s really hard not to be disappointed. Hopefully we can each put this behind us and focus on the next goal!! And you ran a freaking marathon!! That’s pretty awesome. 🙂

    Reply
    1. kristi Post author

      Thanks Meaghan! I’m sorry to hear you struggled too. It is hard to not let one bad day eclipse months of hard work, so I am really trying to focus on what was my best training ever. And you are right, Sunday has to be put behind us and mentally we have to move on. Yet another life skill running teaches us!

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    1. kristi Post author

      Thanks Karla. Truly my worst race ever 🙁 But time to move on I guess and think about my next half marathon. Like you, I need to start chasing that sub 2:00 half!

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    1. kristi Post author

      I’m still trying to figure it out… I’m starting to wonder if I hydrated too much in the days prior to the race and then ended up with low blood sodium? That “whiting out” feeling was awful.

      Reply

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